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Clarke & Ekekee’s blatant sedition (I)

I strongly thank the governors of Naija Delta, especially Chief Dr Emmanuel Eweta Uduaghan, for tolerating the nuisance geriatric who goes by the name Edwin Clarke. Having failed in his bid to be appointed the chairman of the Naija Ports Authority, Mr Clarke has no let up in his bid to destroy the good reputation of the most patriotic governors in the pantheon. I am very sure and certain that this old man is priming himself to being arrested in order to gain cheap popularity like some critics I know. He won’t get it.

According to Clarke, in 13 years, the governors of the Naija-Delta have received N7.3 trillion Naira from the federation account – money meant to transform their states. Clarke was quick to draw a distinction between this, VAT and other levies and taxes supposedly generated during this period. Mr Clarke, who lives in opulence and walks freely without fear of either being kidnapped, bombed or robbed, nevertheless believes that there is no concrete evidence of any transformation in the region. He did not provide evidence of how much he paid in taxes during the period.

Gentlemen and ladies, if this is not sedition of the highest order, I don’t know what is. On reading Mr Clarke’s spurious allegations, the first thing I asked myself is - who made him the Accountant-General of the Naija-Delta? Who told him that a mere N7.3 trillion could have transformed any part of this wonderful country called Naija? Or that the Naija-Delta is in need of transformation. After all, only Bayelsa and Delta were on the US no-go-area-list. But the most important question I would have loved to ask Mr Clarke is – what if the money was squandered? Who squandered it? Were they the good for nothing northerners or Naija Deltans? Who voted for these governors? Were they the goats and sand of Sakwatto or the dunes of Haramistan?

If their governors squandered money belonging to Naija-Deltans, why is Clarke getting more publicity than Obasanjo’s burnt mansion or the villagers killed on the Plateau, or even Christians massacred in their church on Christmas Eve? Maybe Mr Clarke did not know that part of that money was invested in the defence of Saint Ibori while a chunk of it has been approved for Ibori’s severance package. I hope part of the money is invested in getting the Irrational Assembly to create Ibori State or name Delta after him.

I know what Mr Clarke is looking for, but I thank the governors for their wisdom in not granting his wishes. There is absolutely no need to flog a dead horse, and Mr Clarke’s back has seen better days. In future, if he is broke, he should gently approach any of the governors for a little feeding allowance. He could even talk to the new NPA chairman to fix him something from the ports.

Clarke is not the only one walking the routes of sedition and inciting the public against benign governors, one Nasir el-Rufai has been redirecting Naija people to another seditious write-up by one Chinedu Ekekee who also alleged that N500 trillion has been stolen under the eagle eyes of President Jones and the green pen of NOI. If I was reading this from America, I may be tempted to believe him. That amount of money cannot disappear without the tacit knowledge of the unimpeachable Sudan trained Governor of Naira who also recently slipped when he asked Naija to stop borrowing loans for our grandchildren to pay.

According to Ekekee, this money could have built 2.5 million housing units through direct labour. Now we know those who want to stop evil servants from awarding over bloated contracts to construction giants and increase unemployment thereby. Ignorant Americans reading Ekekee might be pardoned for thinking that Africans live on trees – hence the need for direct labour housing. Who needs dainty houses when bridges have empty spaces and slums add to the topography of outer city landscapes. Besides, he did not say how much of those houses could be allotted to the ministers in charge of works, housing, environment and FCT?

Ekekee believes that if a chunk of the money had been invested in electricity, we would be generating 15,000 megawatts by now. The Wizard of Ota would have been laughing if his house did not just burn. If Naija suddenly stops buying generating sets from China, Germany and Japan, what would the factories in those countries do? What would happen to their workers and their economy? Does Ekekee know the true meaning of diplomacy or the terms ‘bilateral’ and ‘trade relations’?

Ekekee’s hatred for our vice president must be part of the Ibo revulsion for Mallams. He wants the N16.5 billion cash voted for a new mansion for the VP diverted for the provision of pipe borne water to every home. Are village ponds dry or hasn’t he read the stories of village life in Chinua Achebe’s books? Has rainwater lost its medicinal value? Does he want to wipe out legitimate jobs for well diggers or contracts for the drilling of boreholes that pack up after commissioning, paving way for maintenance contracts?

….to be continued next week

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